This year for Mallory's Birthday, she asked if she can have her ears pierced. I think it all started when she saw her cousin Kaitlyn with the cutest little earrings.
My response.....
Well, I hadn't really put much thought into WHEN I would let her get them done. So I started to think a lot about it. When I was young the rule was 8. That's when I got mine done.
So I told Mallory that they would have to poke holes in her ears and that it would hurt a bit. Then we would have to clean and twist them everyday a few times and she would have to wear the same earrings for 8 weeks and keep earrings in all the time for 6 months.
She was still good with the idea.
A few weeks later we took her to the Mall. She picked her earrings. Climbed up into the chair, knowing what was coming, and sat there while they drew the dots and then pierced her ears. I wanted two people, so they could be done at the same time...you know, in case they got one done and then she decided she was out and wanted nothing to do with the second. What would we do then?! :)
One worked....the other didn't.
However, Mal didn't mind. She said, "OUCH OUCH OUCH" and wimpered for 1/2 a second. Then she let them do the other ear. She said "Ouch" once and then Dad quickly provided a sucker for her.
Jake on the other hand...well, I thought he was going to pass out with the anxiety of it all. In fact, the entire time I was having flash backs to when I was getting mine done. I can TOTALLY remember it. I remember being totally afraid of the pain of it.
So this made me think "When IS the best time to have their ears pierced?" Our plan worked PERFECT for us! I am just wondering what YOU feel is best for YOU.
One of my friends has them done on her girls when they are 3 months old. I must be honest, before talking to her, I totally didn't think this was something I could ever do. But here is the deal. She said that at 3 months her daughter slept through it. A lot less traumatic than the shots at the Drs office. Plus, they were a lot easier to clean, keep clean and take care of. I can totally see her point!
Then there was my Sister in Laws story of my cute niece. I think she was 8 or 9. Let's just say that the anticipation, to my nieces older mind, was too much. She was FREAKING out. They almost ended up with one earring, because it got so bad. The experience did not end up being a positive one.
THEN I talked to my sister about it. I asked what her "rule" was. She said that she does it when her girls WANT it done. Kaitlyn was 4 or 5. She wanted them done. Lisa told her about the pain and the cleanings, etc. She was all good with it. When the time came to get it done, she crawled right up into the chair and had them done.
Her daughter Caroline is another story. At 4 or 5 she asked. Lisa told her about the pain and cleanings. Caroline said "no thank you" and that was that. She didn't think the benefit out-weighed the consequence and both her and Lisa are just fine with that. End of story. When she wants them, she will ask again. Lisa will tell her again about what is involved. If she goes ahead the trauma of the event won't be there! :)
So, I am curious! What do you think? What are your rules? Do you HAVE rules? What is your theory behind them?
8 comments:
tee hee hee...this totally makes me laugh!!
I remember getting my ears pierced...and my dad was soooo mad! He thought I looked like Jezebel (harsh) seriously...i was a glasses wearing permed hair nerd...I needed earrings!
Then there was Lydia. She saved up all of her birthday money when she was 6, and sat in the chair at Claire's. I tried to convince her to leave when the girl came up and was not very clean, and smelled like smoke...and I was freaking out. But she had already picked out the pink flower diamonds! The first one went ok...not even a blink or tear..then the second one, the gun got jammed ON HER EAR. I thought I was going to pass out...I thought I might need to use her ear cleaner as smelling salts....finally with a lot of tugging, the gun came off.
The claire's girl didn't even give us a discount!
I think it's awesome when it isn't that big of deal! There are so many things that I want to be a "major deal" in Lydia's life (drugs, alcohol, boys, church attendance) I don't want ear piercing to be lumped in that category!
I had to wait until I was 12. So when my 2nd daughter asked at 4 yrs old to get her ears pierced I told her that she had a long time to wait. My hubby overheard and said why? Aren't we the parents? I said, oh yeah! :) So I explained how it would hurt and the upkeep and she still wanted to get it done, off to the mall we went. She didn't even make a whimper, just jumped for the mirror :)
A year or so later my youngest girlie wanted to get hers done, same song and dance. Making sure she understands what was going to happen. This 4 year old too got it done with no cries.
Now the oldest daughter was there both times to watch that her sisters never cried. She still has no desire whatsoever. Even watching them enjoy presents of earrings and enjoy fun seasonal earrings still doesn't sway her to get them done! Her Dad teases her that she should just get it done, she sternly told him that every time he pressures her she adds another year until she will get it done! She's her own girl and I LOVE it!
So, for us waiting until they ask has worked very well. There you have it.
The reason I had you wait until you were 8 was because that was the age of "choice and accountability." I thought that because the church felt that you were old enough to make your own choices at that age that I would think that way too. Today I would probably go with the way you and Lisa have done it. Live and learn.........
When she asked, we let her. We figured if she felt ready then she was. We discussed what would happen and that it would hurt. She says," I know, I saw it on Jon and Kate plus 8. I want to do it!" So we took her to the mall and she didn't even cry.
How fun for Mally!!! I bet she feels like a princess with her new earrings!
Hey I got mine done for Clint and Abby's wedding. I think we walked by the store a few different times before I finally agreed. It was fun though!
I faintly remember being at the mall with you Amy...did we do it on a whim? Oh well. Can't remember that well actually.
Oh, wow, that first story just makes me kinda sick, with the "smoky" employee and the gun getting stuck....augh! So awful!
I got my daughters ears pierced at the pediatricians office on her 1st birthday during her check-up. Honestly, it was harder on me than her. As soon as both the guns did their bang, I started crying. Scarlett cried for maybe 15 seconds.
I had to wait until I was 12 then my aunt did it. My mom had been the one pushing that it was time. But then it was a total opposite when the time came. She freaked out and my dad was the one that let me go through with it. It was too late really. It's not a big thing. Then I got a second piercing in each ear when I was an adult. I never wear anything there. It's a waste. Anyway, it is so fun to ready your stories and comments.
Love you,
Sondi
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