What a crazy day yesterday ended up being! As I posted yesterday, I had peace yesterday as I drove to the hospital. When I got there I found out that Dawson's surgery had been bumped until 4pm. Then the churning started again. I hoped I was making the right decision. I felt prompted to ask for a specific doctor. One that Nan, my ER doc friend, told me to talk to if I needed.
I told him my concerns. I told him that I understood the benefits. I understood that all of the doctors believed this to be the best, but that I FELT that something was just not right.
He understood what I meant.
So, we discussed the benefits....easy blood draws, guaranteed IV access, less "digging" for D to endure. Then we discussed how often we might need these benefits. Maybe every 3 months....maybe less was what we decided. Most blood draws can be done through pricking his finger. Those would be monthly, but they don't really apply here.
THEN we talked about the risks. Dangerous bleeding during procedure. Infection. Dawson's body rejecting it.
The risks out weighed the benefits.
We discussed other options. Deep peripheral IV placed by radiology. OR another attempt at a PIC line (goes into arm and the line runs up through his vein into or near his heart). This option may not be available because prior attempts failed because of the scarring from previous PIC lines.
As I gave the doctor my answer, "I am not willing to do something that involves such serious risks, until I can feel completely at peace with the decision...and I just can't" I felt the presence of the Lord. I knew that I was making the choice that He wanted me to make.
It made me think of the talk that Richard G. Scott gave in Conference, I think last April. The one about prayer. Sometimes the answer comes definitively. Sometimes not. This time I felt that I needed to weigh this out in my mind. I let the Lord know that I could not make this decision without knowing that it was His will. I proceeded to find out everything I could about it then I continued to pray. I felt most right about this new decision. When I vocalized it, He let me know that it was good.
He then later confirmed His answer to me when Dawson was taken to radiology for an IV or PIC line and after reading the reports of the last attempts the Radiologist told me that they doubt they will be able to do anything at all. They would try, but they were nearly positive they would fail...a PIC line was placed. First try. Easiest they have ever done.
This last week as I have traveled back and forth from my In Laws house to the hospital I have been listening to Sheri Dew's book "No Doubt About It". It is funny how things in life come together in one moment. Just little events all working together to remind me of who I am and the blessings that I have because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. This last week I have felt a renewal. A recommitment to living closer to the Lord and to eliminate the things in my life that hold me back from the blessings He has promised. Life never feels better, we never have more peace, there is never more joy than when we are doing the Lord's work!