Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Calgon [TAKE ME AWAY!!]

Alright, this day is a day that MUST be recorded. Let me just tell you how it all went down....

It all started when, while cleaning my kitchen this morning, Mallory came and stood next to me. She wanted grapes or something like that. As I go to fetch "FAIR MAIDEN" her grapes I step in something wet. Now, it is NOT unheard of for me to spill a bit of water on the floor while cleaning and I quickly thought that must be what it was. UNTIL I LOOKED DOWN! My bare foot was standing in a puddle of VERY liquid POOP! GREAT! Apparently Mal has a case of the runs today! She had it down both legs and it was GAH-ROSS! I wiped her down and ran her up to the shower. She loves the shower and that gave me the perfect opportunity to wash my foot and fetch my young prince. WHOM, upon discovery, had ALSO blown out his diaper AND his bed! AWESOME! Dawson HATES taking baths. HOWEVER, he was going to have to deal, BECAUSE HE NEEDED ONE! So now I have two VERY clean, VERY sweet kiddos.

When naptime rolled around guess what I found, and please don't let this let you think less of me. Honestly, had I known it would have been taken care of, but I didn't! Just as I am about to lay Mal down in her bed, I spy a big spot of PUKE! OH MY HECK! She hadn't even shown signs of not feeling well. She ran and played like normal all morning. She didn't stink. NOTHING! NO TRACE! Poor girl. So I changed the bedding and kids were put down. LONG DAY, but should be going up from here right....RIGHT??!! WRONG!!

Tonight Mal would manage to pull a dresser over, nearly on top of herself. Bad right?! Scary! Amber I IMMEDIATELY thought of you! THEN we had a little dinner and Ryan headed out to do is duties as the Elders Quorum President, no problem we can handle it on our own. That is until Mal takes out a SECOND dresser! Tipping completely over and almost took her with it AGAIN! So I pick her up, put her in bed. Finish hooking Dawson up to his feeding tube and giving his meds, while Mal whimpers out of fear! Poor girl! Hopefully there will not be any climbing in her future! THEN while I was putting the drawers back in and picking that dresser up JAKE starts to scream! WHAT NOW?! Oh just Mallory body slamming his face! Bloody nose, BOTH SIDES! GREAT!

So, I run him to the bathroom. He is pleading for a shower. I agree because it is all down the front and because of his crying splattered EVERYWHERE else. Poor kid! Then because he is crying and has a fair amount of blood in his mouth he starts to puke! FABULOUS!

After getting him cleaned up and the bleeding to stop. As he is hopping in the shower he asks, "Mom, is it Ok to call Mal a 'bad girl' now?!" To which I respond, just like always, "No honey, we don't label anyone, no matter their choices. We love her she is just being a little wild." Off he goes into the shower. Where his mood will improve and all will be forgiven. And off I go to put the fair maiden to bed. HALLELUJAH! THEN....OH YES there is more, I go in to find her in my closet, stooped over a spilled bottle of teething tablets, eatin like they are her last supper....as they may well be! UGH!

So, now I am getting ready to sit down, watch a little Pushing Daisies (THANKS TO DVR) and listen to the silence coming from the baby monitor! I LOVE THAT SILENCE! I will also spend a little time figuring the amount of hours, minutes and maybe seconds until Date night on Friday!

I will have you all know that THIS is the type of situation where you CAN'T and don't lose your temper. It was all so RIDICULOUSLY extreme and crazy and happening so fast I just had to move from one to the next. Almost laughing at how out of hand it was!

SERENITY NOW! (Name that show!)

9 comments:

Rideout Family said...

Amy, you need a calgon take me away moment, but not for a moment, for a day or two or three. I am impressed that you were laughing, I might of said a few choice words. You are such a good mommy.

Amber said...

Holy crap, that sucks. You should get hazard pay for that one. I love that you are keeping a chronicle of these things, these days will be gone before you know it! Of course, that may just be a good thing....

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, what a day. We love you and we hope tomorrow is better... :-)

Love Dad and Sondi

Kristin and Jay said...

K so I was at first grossed out, then horrified, then after a while of reading I just had to laugh. Does this really happen to one person in one day?!!! Maybe that is what makes it so funny. But if it happened to me, I would be freaking out! You are a good mommy, I would have made Jay come home for sure, so I could leave before I hurt something. Like kick the crap out of one of the dressers! But I hope you got to watch your show in the end!

Courtney said...

Good post! Oh that is too funny... serenity now makes me think of what's her name in Twin Falls... you know, that lady we love? I don't know why I can't remember her name right now. Anyway, I'm glad other people have days like this. I hate "stepping in things" days. Those are the worst. I'm like, "Oh crap, what did I step in now?"

Devin & Shalise said...

Seriously I believe that when it rains... IT POURS!! I might have been curled up in the corner in the fetal position if that was me. I am not very good with throw up!! I told Devin when we have kids I am diaper duty he is puke duty!!

Jelina said...

All I can say is I don't know how you do it. You are my hero. SERENITY NOW is from Seinfeld...

Dirk & Dae said...

Holy Cow! And to think I just asked you on your post about Lisa's baby if you were up for more! Maybe....NOT!! Yikes!

Salisbury Family said...

Wow...that is...disgusting!
Congratulations for surviving-and I am sure with style and grace, especially because I am SURE that you totally kept everything under control, and you kept up with the laundry. You are Wonder Woman!!!

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